


Change My Mind

by SadLesbianClown



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: First Time, M/M, Porn Without Plot, but you have to squint, this is probably porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:33:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25338421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadLesbianClown/pseuds/SadLesbianClown
Summary: An argument over Harry Potter leads to sex.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	Change My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Porn with as little actual sex as possible.

**Baz**

I’ve wanted this for so long. To be here with him, know him in every way. 

We stumbled into bed a little while ago and Simon has made his way into my lap and is wetting my neck with sloppy, desperate kisses. I stifle a moan as he nibbles and sucks on my ear lobe, pulling it between his teeth. 

“Do you concede?” He whispers. 

I raise my hips up toward him and he gasps, “never,” I answer. “Draco is an underappreciated character.”

I flip us and pin him to the bed below me, “you can’t change my mind.”

He kisses me with a wild look in his eye, “let me try?”

I raise an eyebrow, a question. He nods. “Are you sure?” 

“Completely.” He declares. 

“If you change your mind or don’t want to do somethin-“

“I’ll tell you, promise. You do the same okay?”

“Okay.”

My shoulders feel tingly. Are they supposed to tingle? 

I’m about to make love to Simon Snow, the man I’ve loved since childhood. I’ve been waiting so long and I’m finally here and oh merlin he’s undoing my belt. 

**Simon**

I never thought I’d say this but thank god I lost my magic or I would be in serious danger of going off right now. 

Why am I so nervous? I’ve seen Baz without a shirt on before? It’s just, he looks so fit tonight. Maybe I should have skipped that third helping of lasagna tonight. And why does he smell so good? How can anyone smell this good? Do vampires not sweat?

  
  


**Baz**

I am so glad I showered before dinner. Maybe it’ll hide the smell of blood I spilt on my sleeve, hopefully he just thinks it’s pasta sauce from the lasagna. 

“Do you need help?” I ask. 

I’m down to my pants and Snow seems to be struggling with his trousers. 

  
  


**Simon**

Why. Won’t. They. Come. Off! 

“Here, the button is caught on the- here. Lie down.” Baz instructs, pushing me back to the bed. 

“Let’s just-yup.” His cool fingers brush the soft of my belly as he tries to help unstick my trousers and I can’t help but laugh. 

“What? What’s wrong?” He asks, jumping back from me with a look of concern and terror. 

“Ha! No, love, you’re fine. Just a bit ticklish is all.”

“Ticklish, eh?” He says with a mischievous grin, crawling back up the bed toward me. 

He pounces and all at once he’s on me. Naughy fingers running up and down my sides like a cat chasing a mouse. 

  
  


**Baz**

Simon is squealing and giggling and writhing around under my hands and it is a delightful sight. 

At one particular spot he squeaks and kicks me back and “AH!” He yells. “Leg cramp! Leg cramp! Ah! Ooh! Ah.” Gripping his calf. 

Oh no. I broke my boyfriend. 

“Are you okay? Do you need anything? Ice? Hot? Message?” 

“Baz, I’m fine. Really, I’m okay. Just a wee spasm for a second there.” He pants while trying to catch his breath, sinking back into the pillows. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m alright. No need to fret.”

“And you’re sure you don’t need me to,” I pause building up my confidence, “kiss it better?” I ask with the most innocent smile I can muster. 

“You know what, it does hurt a little. You should do that.” He smiles. “Can’t risk it.” He explains. 

“Of course.” I say, slinking down to nestle between his legs. “Can’t risk it.” I repeat. Pulling his leg so it can rest on my shoulder as I kiss down his calf. “Nice Kermit socks,” I remark. 

I see him blush as I make a line of kisses going up his thigh. 

When I get to his pants I pause. 

“Can you take yours off first?” He asks softly. 

“Of course.” I respond with a reassuring smile. 

**Simon**

Oh. My. God. Oh merlin. I’m looking at Baz’s- and it’s- oh my merlin. 

**Baz**

Simon has been staring at my dick for a full minute. I haven’t even done anything yet. I’m just kneeling here. 

I’m pretty sure the absolute disaster has got drool pooling in the corner of his mouth. Is it wrong that I want to kiss it?

**Simon**

“I’m sorry.”

“What? Why?” Baz asks. 

“I just. I was staring. Sorry. That was weird.”

“It’s okay.” He says with a chuckle. I think he’s blushing but I might be imagining it, I’m not sure if vampires can actually blush. “Are you alright? Do you want to stop?”

“No!” I say way too quickly. “Nope. Unless you want to- and then totally-“ “No I’m still good.” He says. 

“Good.” 

“Can I?” He asks lightly tugging on the waistband of my pants. 

I nod. 

This is the bit I’ve been worried about. Him seeing me without my pants. I’ve got acne on my bum. I hope he doesn’t get grossed out. It grosses _me_ out and it’s _my body_. 

He doesn’t say anything though. 

Just discards the pants to some corner of the room and we are left there to take in the sight of each other. Clad only in muppet socks and moonlight. 

“You are so beautiful.” He says finally. He sounds breathless and I haven’t even touched him yet. 

  
  


**Baz**

What a beautiful human I get to love. 

How did I ever get this lucky?

I press my forehead to his, “I love you so much.” I tell him, and I feel him smile. “I love you too Basil.” He runs his fingers through my hair and pulls me into a kiss. 

It’s not desperate like before. It’s slow and full of intent. Full of love, I think. 

  
  


**Simon**

I’m reminded of how new this is to both of us. Agatha and I never went this far, as far as I know I don’t think Baz has ever been intimate with anyone. 

He looked so cool and natural when he pulled the box out of the nightstand drawer. 

**Baz**

This is going nothing like how I practiced. When we started dating I made sure I kept condoms handy. I had practiced putting one on in the bathroom. I didn’t want the first time I used one to be the first time I was with Simon. It was easy then, I thought I had it down. A natural expert. So why can’t I get the bloody thing on now?

“Here.” Simon says finally, “let me help you, yeah?”

I exhale loudly in frustration, but move my hands away. “Alright. Sorry. You shouldn’t have to-“

“It’s okay,” he says. He reaches forward and I see his hand twitch for a second, like he’s only just realized that helping me means he’s about to touch me. He doesn’t hesitate for long and unrolls the condom with ease. I inhale at the contact and I see him smile in satisfaction. He kisses the corner of my mouth, and then pulls my lips between his. I realize he hasn’t moved his hand away. He’s running it up and down my length. I can feel the blood rushing from my head to some place it’s needed more. I feel dizzy and intoxicated and wanting. 

I push him back down to the bed, not breaking our kiss. 

  
  


**Simon**

“Maybe if you-“

“-yup.” He says adjusting his position. “And the leg?”

“Yeah lets-NOPE! Nope! Definitely not. Back around. Back around.”

“Here. Better?”

“Oh yes. Yes. Definitely yes. Keep going. Right there.” 

“I’m so close can you just touch me?” I ask. 

“Like this?” 

“Yes. Merlin. Oh. Ooh. Fuuuuuuuuck.” I say in a deep guttural moan as I come. My full body tensing and folding in half like a rag doll and my forehead coming in contact with Baz’s at alarming velocity. 

  
  


**Baz**

“Ah! FUCK!” I yell as I grab my head only to lose my balance and “SHIT!” I fall from the bed and hear Simon nauseated gasp as I fall _from him_ with a rapid and violent jerk. I land, elbows slamming into the floor. Back wrenched and left sprawled out as I hang by one foot from the bed. 

“WHAT THE FUCK SNOW!”

“Sorry! Sorry. Fuck. Baz. Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m okay. Are you?”

“I’m fine. What happened?”

“Your orgasm threw me off the bed.”

Why is he laughing? Simon is actually crying with laughter. 

“Your-your-“ he tries to speak between gasps. “Your magical dick rebounded and threw you from the bed!” He’s lost again. Tears running down his face. Cackling like a lunatic. 

“Wha-ha! What the fuck are you talking about Snow?” I can’t help it. I’m laughing at him. 

I’m naked on the floor laughing at my boyfriend who’s laughing about my “magical” penis. 

“That thing should come with a warning label.” He says finally. “Caution: May give you orgasms so good you end up killing me.” 

“What the fuck?” I cackle. “No. Simon-“ He jumps down off the bed and kneels over me, legs on either side of my chest and looks down, straight into my eyes and suddenly serious, “want me to kiss it better?” He asks with a smirk. 

  
  


**Simon**

Oh no. I broke my boyfriend. 

“Maybe I should?” He says. 

“Yeah. Sure.” Leaning back so he can take himself in hand. 

“I don’t understand.” He says finally. “I was so close before and now I can’t even get hard. I’m sorry. It’s not you. I really want to keep going but it’s just not-“

“It’s okay.” I tell him. Kissing his cheek. “We have plenty of time. We don’t need to rush. I’m going to go to the bathroom and then maybe we can take a break. I’m kind of hungry anyway.”

“Yeah, I could use a drink. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah I just. Really have to pee.” I explain as I skip off, or more like waddle, to the bathroom. 

Also I need to discreetly pull Baz’s hair from my mouth. It kept getting in my face, but I don’t want to make him feel worse. I already hit him in the head. 

  
  


**Baz**

We don’t try again that night. We get snacks and water. We tried cuddling, but there was too much sweating and sticking for comfort, so we just took turns showering before settling down to watch a movie, Harry Potter. 

“I still think Draco’s a twat.” Simon says with a smirk. He’ll be the death of me, truly. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was based off an amazing piece of art entitled “Things You Don’t See in Mainstream Porn” you can find it on instagram @hazel.mead 
> 
> Basically I just got tired to reading first time fics where everything is amazing and they come at the same time or whatever. Like it’s gonna be bad. Let them make those mistakes and have those conversations. Anyway I wanted to write that reality, not a sex scene and so that’s how we wound up with this clusterfuck of awkwardness. Also how do you write laughter???? If you know, please share your secrets in the comments.
> 
> Of course I get a writing streak a month after my laptop bites the dust. I have like 4 new WIPs that I’m super excited for, but I’m writing the old fashioned way on paper 😬 so it’s gonna take me a while to upload.


End file.
